HBD <3
#10: Wearing Hermes Slides In the Pit Lane
Not even safety rules can get this man to part from his aesthetic (man on a yacht) and I respect that. Tragically the only evidence of this I can find is this one tweet I screenshotted. It was also a one time occurrence because he was rudely forced to put his toes away by the FIA.
#9: Being on German Shark Tank
Literally why. Has this man even run a business??? & fake businesses that rich people have to say they have a job do not count!! Show me an idea you had that you turned into reliable year over year revenue!!! He was amazing on the show I will say that. I don’t speak German but he transcends language. Also their version is called Lions Cave which is pretty funny, but not as funny as knowing there’s another show called Dragons Den. Need the deets on the universe of investing shows named after dangerous animal enclosures.
Sadly he got kicked off for not investing enough which is fair of the show but also fair of him because I feel like most of the businesses (on the U.S. show at least) are pretty random.
#8: Being a #GirlDad
This video is cringe, okay, but it’s from the heart and that’s really what counts in the end. Do I hate framing feminism around having daughters? Yes, but in my defense this is objectively funny. I honestly read it as more of him just being all in on having daughters which in a day and age of men throwing tantrums during gender reveal videos is a breath of fresh air. Like many things with Nico, the execution is slightly insane but the intention is so pure you can’t help but be endeared. Also this photo of him and his daughter in their matching Mercedes slays so hard. Do you think he taught her how to drift in the snow because I do.
#7: Generating a Years Long Meltdown By A Not Insignificant Portion Of The F1 Community By Doing Something 50 Other Ex-Drivers Do, Often Far More Frequently Than He Does (Commentary)
You can tell Lewis Hamilton shaped the narrative better than anyone I’ve ever seen because he was able to convince us that refusing to speak another mans name for 6 years was more normal than a retired driver talking about his old teammate on sky sports. Don’t get me wrong, I think that move by Lewis was one of the funnier things a person has ever done, and it must be noted that the headlines around Nico at this time did NOT help his cause, the poor guy could not win. Obviously he has to talk about Lewis, it’s literally Lewis. He’s the main character, especially at this time, like the man is going to come up and of course they’re going to ask Nico about Merc & Lewis so there was a lot of material to work with. But the way these headlines would take the worlds most generic statement, completely twist it into something horrible, and then send reporters to the press conference to be like omggg can you believe what Nico said??? Diabolical. Luckily that has died down a great deal and, to be fair, Nico does often fall into the trap of saying something that is objectively true but also crazy to say out loud. He also does like openly cheer for Lewis on the commentary so I do get where people are coming from but that, I fear, is iconic. He’s a cancer okayyy you wouldn’t get it.
#6: Taking on The Bulls Again In 2013
The Graphics. The way he says hello to the bull. The cowboy boots & the hat. The fact that he wore a helmet which means he got that hat specifically for the cunty intro. Also riding a bull in general is just a wild fucking thing to do like what if you hurt yourself????? The POV of him falling on his back is so funny like the part where you just see the sky killed me. I also really love here the connection between Red Bull and regular bulls here because it implies that he is going to ride one of them, presumably Mark for obvious reasons.
#5: Posting That Video Of Him Falling Off His Scooter
The fact this he put this in his own vlog is so fucking funny. The commitment to the content, an artiieeest.
#4: Tripping Over The Car At Mercedes’ 2013 Car Launch
I’m sorry to this man because this was probably a fairly embarrassing moment at the time but to do that in THAT moment is pure comedy. Also like, same, that would actually happen to me. Honestly that wheel should have gotten out of the way. Lewis laughing at him in the video makes the whole thing. Of course Mercedes cut it out of virtually all the material they released. Luckily one clip remains from Hazheer Burhan on YouTube.
#3: 2018 Germany Parc Ferme Clip
Me @ the downfall of my enemies fr
Nico is the only person in the world I accept Seb slander
from mostly because it’s hilarious but also because I did
watch Seb (sometimes more lovingly than others) bully
this man for the better part of a decade. This is just one
of those videos that never fails to make me laugh. The way
he says “Vettel my god what a dark day for him, surely one
of the darkest in his whole career :).” and then follows it up
with “to put it in the wall here on his legendary home track,
where he’s never won before, very very tough one. :)” The
way he just throws in ‘where he’s never won before. :)” takes me out every single time. #1 F1 content creator in the world, truly the best to ever do it – no notes.
#2: The 2015 COTA Cool Down Room
Embracing Lewis in his arms for a considerable amount of time considering the events of that race, and congratulating him, even attempting a smile before you retreat to pout in his chair. This is also like the worst day of his life so the pouting is fair but the way that lasted 35 seconds. This is also just so sad to me because I feel like it was such a misunderstanding. Obviously I can’t read their minds but to me it seems like Lewis appreciated the congratulations, he knows Nico is trying to be nice despite being fucking miserable so he was just trying to be nice back and interact like ‘oh here’s you’re hat.’ But conversely for Nico who just lost the Championship for the third time in a row, is probably devastated, and separately a little pissed about the events of that race specifically, felt the symbolism of Lewis tossing him the P2 hat in that moment. Lewis wasn’t trying to be a dick but I totally see why Nico took it that way, especially in that moment.
[the video won’t upload and I am too lazy to clip it again so you’re just going to have to search it in youtube i’m v sorry]
#1: Semi-Ghosting His Job
The way that he couldn’t break up with Toto to his face because he didn’t want to cry, same bestie. The whole thing is giving Lucy Grey (Toto is President Snow).
“I knew there was something as we spent a long time on the plane having dinner and talking about a lot of things,” Wolff said. “The moment I left the lounge in the morning to jump on the plane to Stuggart, Nico was going to Weisbaden, he called me. I said ‘I’m coming back’, he said ‘don’t come back’!”
ESPN
Wolff said: “It was a very difficult moment. We spent a day in Malaysia, with such a big crowd cheering for Nico, something I have never seen – it was unbelievable. “We hopped on a flight from Kuala Lumpur to Singapore and from Singapore to Frankfurt and then we had some emotional discussions and he was so clear by what he said that he had no doubt about his decision.”
Motorsport.com“We were actually sitting together on a flight, even having dinner in the flight together, but I was scared that I would burst out in tears if I mentioned this now so I decided ‘I’m going to chicken out!’ – so I just called him right when we left the plane! He kind of got it. It was crazy and unexpected”
GP Fans
Honorable Mentions
- Saying that Valtteri was Lewis’ favorite teammate because he wasn’t fast enough to ever truly challenge him.
- Saying that Seb was following his example by getting into environmentalism.
- Rolling his eyes ever 10 seconds at Christian Horner when interviewing him on Sky
- His Ferrari rant
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